Hallowe'en. It's not just for stupid babies anymore.

Miklos and I are hitting up the town as depression-era newsies. I can't wait to get pictures. Since my gums are far too sensitive for (too much) candy these days, pictures are the sweetest part of Hallowe'en for me.

I'm having a cat dilemma. That dilemma is that Rico's craving attention at 1-, 3-, and 5AM are driving me bat-shit bananas. I have never met a more annoying cat OR person than Rico. Yet I am obligated to love him. I would defend that cat's stupidity to the death, even though the amount of proper sleep I've had in weeks is insufficient at best and akin to waking up 200+ times per night at worst. I'm not going to be publicly and specifically cruel here, but imagine a situation that only serves as a burden on your life yet you still have some strong emotional connection that prevents you from some kind of bathtub drowning incident.

I was already going to Hell, if there is one. All I'm saying is that one day before I have kids and subsequently live in a day-to-day haze due to 2-hour nightly naps between work and housework, I want to be able to enjoy SLEEP again. Please?

Here are things that do not work in this situation:

• Locking cat out of room. (He only then begins to scratch under the door and the floor beneath the door.)
• Placing higher threshold under the door to prevent gap that allows cat to scratch under it. (No idea WHAT he is scratching now, but I assure you he has found something and it is just as loud.)
• Being extra adamant about clipping his nails so that he has less to scratch loudly at the door with. (Any nail is plenty nail.)
• Leaving the door open. (This leads to a game of Ring Around the Rose-y, whereby he hops onto the bed at my feet, walks between us and then around my head and meows at the wall beside my face. Cool!)
• Shooting the cat. (I love him. How could you even suggest that? You're a disappointment of a friend.)
• [This bullet left 'empty' for effect.]
• Squirting with water bottle mixed with 1/10 vinegar or just plain water. (He's stupid. He still comes back.)
• Attempts at sedation by catnip. (It just doesn't work.)
• Feeding him earlier.
• Feeding him later.
• Not feeding him definitely will NOT work, so don't even think about it.
• Playing with him extra throughout the day so he sleeps better at night. (He doesn't care about the amount of affection he gets, he just wants to be awake all night and not alone.)

I am just plum out of ideas.

Hairballs are ever prevalent at the Niklos Residence these days. That said: Sand cat. Let's get one!

I have to go bat Rico with a fur brush because he's licking himself again. This could get messy.

John Tesh would marry my ass.

Tax return came this week, and since I don't really get to enjoy it (thank you, school that got me so many places), I'm trying to curb my spending. This is when my blog gets useful!

These links are British, so the tools might not work as well as you'd hope, but the general ideas are common sense and a worthwhile reminder of what little things you can do to save some money (if not for yourself, then to donate to a good cause now and then).

• Stop Spending: Tips & tools to help you fight yourself
• Festive Fivers - Thoughtful, cheap or free gift ideas
• Cheap Supermarket Shopping - Try 'downshifting' to save yourself a billion dollars a year

One tip that seems to repeat itself on all money-saving sites is to never shop when you're god-damn hungry. That always spells disaster.

Anyway.

On the topic of what's actually going on in life lately, there have been a lot of hard rains and storms, and the grass is radically greener this week than last. I'm in love with spring, but you've always known that. Right now the sky is a weird colour that it shouldn't be, and I'm playing elastic-band-fetch with Mixi while considering joining a baseball team this summer. Stranger things have happened to someone, I'm sure.

Fish n Chips n Vinegar... Pepper Pepper Pepper, Salt.

I got this book for about $10 the other day at Coles. I realize I'm becoming the two-jobbed housewife, but what a great resource! There are like a bazillion tips on ways to use salt, vinegar, lemons, and baking soda for just about everything around the house; things you'd expect, and also neat tricks like making a pet behaviour-modifying spray out of one part vinegar and one part water. So far, so good.

Another thing I picked up was a travel journal. I can't wait to start filling it out. Six days til my first trip overseas. Eat shit, Quebec!

Addendum: I was wondering about this tonight, here's my answer.

Cat Tails & Pussy Willow

This morning I awoke to claims by somebody that Starbucks filters its coffee through cats, because the package smells like cat pee. (Preposterous! I cried. It would have to smell like cat poo.) Shortly after this, a cat war broke out in the very bedroom where I was still snoozing. Last night, while cutting his nails, I discovered Rico had a bloody claw.

All this brings me to one conclusion: We've got too many damn cats.

We'd really only have two, if Miklos hadn't saved Mixi from a scary storm that was coming when he found her in the woods. I guess that makes our quantity more acceptable. He also rescued Jane from being killed as a kitten, if that further helps our case. At the same time, one day I really want to have a cat named Darryl or Philip. The way these three are at each other's throats sometimes, maybe I won't have to wait too long.

They All Must Scoop

For a long, long time as past housemates will agree, Rico has had a problem with barfing daily all over the place. The vet suggested he simply has a weak stomach, or he's eating too fast. Well, one day after a good petting session, Rico stood up and started to cough up a hairball. It was to no avail.

I went out and bought a kittymalt the next day, which I'll admit I've been pretty lax in giving him, but it seemed to help the first few days. After an enormous hairball, Rico continued to have little food vomits here and there, but not as much.

Meanwhile, our beloved Mixi, who was spayed in January, began to feel much thicker. She was also lazier than ever. We noticed she was gulping up pretty much all the food we'd set out within a few hours. Not good.

I spent a while researching this, and decided to try placing an obstacle in each bowl to slow down their eating. I can tell it's annoying to them, but it has (for the most part) slowed them down. And the thing I noticed yesterday is that I haven't seen a Rico-barf in at least a week! Incredible! Mixi has more energy, and Jane... well, she's just kind of there, but Miklos said he saw her scooping some food out with her paws this morning to eat it. Excellent. Once again, the internet has saved lives!

Representin'.

I gave up on the 365, rather quickly it would seem. It was no good, and I felt like it was holding me back. Or obligating me. I'd rather just picturize when the mood strikes me, or when something cool presents itself.

Tomorrow, our little Mixi (who has recently taken to becoming a woman) goes in to get spayed. Good luck, cat! We'll see you on the outside. In the meantime, she and the other two have to fast for the night (or, we'll just feed the other two when she passes out). Rico is staring longingly at me; purring, wishing, hoping. Not any time soon, cat.

The Taurus, she is a-done-for. The other car passed the e-test (with flying colours, I might add. Suggestion: Put a new catalytic converter on your car if it's failing miserably [sometimes twice]; I'm almost willing to wager you'll see a significant difference).

Rico is now staring at me with devil-horned ears and wider-than-usual angry-owl eyes. So if I'm not cat-murdered in my sleep by him, I promise maybe I'll update more. There's not a lot of motivation for that since I started posting my pictures on ELITH, so maybe go there if you're bored. It'll give you a synopsis of what's new, and you can look at some pictures!

Oh yes, and Jay Leno sucks.

The Crazy Cat Lady

I'm reading all about introducing cats to each other today. Mixi and Jane pretty much hate each other, and Rico has never been a fan of other cats. So upon this upcoming merge, we may find ourselves in a pretty pickle. Oh, kitties. I need a farm.

Going to conduct a social experiment based on this site. I will be recording every transaction I witness. Good info here too.

This is good too, even though it's not about housing cats in any way. Watch about halfway through when Stephen Colbert cleans up Alicia Keys' "Empire State of Mind".

Just now as I was about to gather my clothes from the laundry room, I stepped out of my apartment and gasped. "RICO!" I scolded, as the cat bounded back down the hall to greet me. How the hell did he get out of my place? A girl appeared in the hall walking toward me with a smile, and it hit me.

Those familiar white sock paws, that tabby fur and rascally appearance... it wasn't Rico at all. It was the cat across the hall who looks exactly like him come out to accompany his owner while she took down the garbage.

There is no distinguishing feature for that cat from mine, other than the different owner. About a year ago, the twin cats met in the hall and simply looked at each other in amazement. I wonder how many other cats look EXACTLY like mine.

If I could speak in a cat language that Rico would understand, I would say meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow, which would translate, loosely, to "Slow down when you eat! That's why you're throwing up every day."

He gets so riled up before he eats, and I made matters worse tonight by getting him a different kind. This excited the hell out of him, despite how nonchalant I was acting about it to try to have him simply accept the stuff into his routine. Sure enough, as soon as I put down the bowl, he gobbled a bunch up, and minutes later when I went to figure out what was up with the router, I found a giant mound of the new food in a wet pile beside it. Thanks, Cat!

For the least cloudy day we've seen in a while, and for a Sunday off, today was pretty rubbish!

Cat Lady Rambles #184

I've never really thought of Rico as 'big'. Once, Francis came over to try and sell me life insurance (or something scammy) and the only part of that visit I remember was him saying "WHOA, that is a big cat." I've seen bigger.

But Jane is a featherweight, and Mix is miniature. She'll probably grow to be bigger than Rico, but right now, she's tiny. And as Rico sat on my slouchy lap just now, I realized, he is not only gigantic, but also getting really heavy. He used to be so light. That's what switching from $34- to $17-bags of cat food will do to an animal I guess. And soon I'm switching to Ruffins' own blend at an incredible $10 a bag, so what will happen then?

PS, if you have pets, check out the Ruffins in your area, if there is one. Ours has food that is literally $8 cheaper for the same name brand bag they have at stores like Petcetera or Pet Valu, and the service seems friendlier too.

You know, Jose Feliciano, you got no complaints.

Despite it reportedly being 'hot & humid' outside this beautiful sunny day, I'm almost as cool as a cucumber in my apartment. We don't have air conditioning, but it's still pretty fresh in here. It's good weather, and it's finally summer. The only disadvantage is the days are getting shorter. Until it's dark at 5pm, who cares!

Going to take a walk to the grocery store in the apparently sweltering heat, make a nice dinner, I think, and then go check on Mixie with Miklos tonight. Should be good.

And then there were 3... cats, I mean.

Miklos found a kitten in the woods (or rather, some old men found her but couldn't keep her). After suggesting what seemed like a dictionary of names for a tortoiseshell kitten with an exceptionally friendly and energetic personality for a cat who'd been left in the woods for at least a couple of days, we settled on Mix, or Mixie (for now).

We took her in for an examination Saturday morning after the market, where the veterinarian let us look through the microscope at the earmites she had accumulated. Cool! ...We then had him eradicate them.

So after some expensive treatment and a vaccination, this cat looks like she will be our new money pit pet. D'awwww! She's so wiry and friendly.

PS, we watched stuff blow up tonight, which should make up for how cute this post is. Except that the things blowing up were awesome fireworks over the canal. And I bought some thinning shears because your hair's getting too fluffy these days.

Up/Down

Just clicking through my bookmarks at random, you know, since I have time to do that now, and I found this: Mark Twain's Top 9 Tips for Living a Kick-Ass Life. Pretty uplifting!

And, you know, I hate to kick you down when you're up by getting all serious, but there are some powerful photos here. Don't click if you can't stand to look at starving, broken-down souls. There's a whole other world out there that you and I are nowhere near familiar with. What can we do?

Weeeeeeeeeeee-ow!

They took down the MISSING CAT sign in the lobby, so I'm hoping that means the missing cat was found alive and well. He's a cool cat. All orange and white and goofy and really very friendly. Here's hoping he just took a quick vacation. I just saw him hunting outside last week when I was leaving the parking lot.

If there's one thing I can't let go of hating in life, it's when people insist upon their own total lack of common sense. My paranoia is high, but not to be outdone is the absence of sense so prevalent in some of the people I talk to.

Aside from that, everything else is so easy to laugh off.

American Idol auditions are back, yesssss!

Listen, I don't want to bore you with stories like this... but this is one for the memories. Ignore it if you are anyone other than me reading.

Situation: I'm lying in bed, doing math in my head for some reason. I'm on the threshold of sleep when I hear a sudden frantic scrambling; a clink of my potted plant possibly being knocked down onto my bed; a quick, sharp and terrified meow; then finally a thump on my mattress, where my cat lands in a canopy that's formed near the bottom of my long brown curtains. Rico lies there in that canopy, perfectly still and quiet. So, a tiny bit concerned, as well as freaked out, I pull him out of the curtain-hammock he's fallen into. His response is to stand stiffly on my bed, reflecting upon life for a minute, unmoving. I watch, curiously, awaiting his next move. Then, as if nothing ever happened, he hops off the bed and coughs up a ribbon-wound hairball presumably after I fall asleep, as I find it the next morning and am actually rather impressed by his talent.

I mean, the ribbons were even complementary colours, and the bow was excellently formed around the mound of hair he coughed up. Yep. That's called a day off.

I'm not good enough at lying, so this is serious

Around 2004, while I was living in Welland, a group of us were racing down a side street (running). I wasn't fond of the idea, but everyone was trying to get into shape and I was just sort of there. Anyhow, I fell behind and decided to just walk to the end of the road, which ran parallel to some train tracks. There was an alleyway (if you can call it that) between two houses that took you from the street to the railroad tracks, and a path that went beyond that. Lying rather calmly on the ground in that "alleyway", about 100 feet away from me, was this enormous black cat.

I am retarded, so I considered walking up to reach out and touch what I was seeing because it was so unreal, but I shook the idea out of my head and continued to walk to catch up to the others, staring at it all the while. When I finally caught up, they said "Oh yeah?" because apparently a giant cat roaming the city is not something to be concerned about.

I had never heard of it beforehand. After I told a couple people, I heard that there had been sightings for a couple of years.

Then I saw an article in the paper today. This is it. (Also, the picture printed in the paper shows the actual picture, which is without a doubt a wild cat of some type; black, as I described. Way to make it look like Area 51 in this picture, internet site.)

I'm not crazy!

All is again well in the jungle.

Mee-lo came back today! (!!!!!!!) He was apparently full of dirt (probably from napping in a rusty old tire for a few days) but I haven't heard anything else, so he's probably doing just fine.

MISSING

Throwing my goals in the garbage is the most liberating thing I've done all day.
Well, first crumpling the list of them up and then ranting on about how they will now reside in a landfill never to bother me again, that was most liberating. In it, I found reason.

Milo-Kitty ran away. :( I'm scared for him. He's not exactly the Albert Einstein of the feline variety; more similarly, he's the Grimace, but less ambitious. Since I don't live in the same city as them, I told my sister she should give out flyers, ask people in the neighbourhood if they've seen him since last night, and leave her phone number with them in case they do see him. So far, he was spotted crossing the street earlier in the day, and also walking with a black cat, which I believe to be a false lead, given Milo's history of racial prejudice. They found another stray cat who looked like him, but who wasn't him when my sister went to investigate.

Hey, at least we've made some tiny progress. People know to call if they see him, and apparently my parents' neighbourhood is fraught with stray cats. I really, really hope he's okay.

I move, tomorrow.

Itchy Whiskers

Bookmark me. It's fun.

New Year's Eve, hey? What is it with Eves. Feeling a bit of a cold coming on (I just got over a ridiculous flu on Boxing Day), I was hesitant to do much. Spent the night in North York watching South Park episodes and Planet of the Apes with my New Year's friend, Pumpkin, and Andrew and Steve.

I have no quirky observations for you this night. How about you leave me some?