Canadian Shame

Here's the thing.

Capitalism is everywhere. You knew it when you got old enough to think for yourself. You knew it when you became an adult turned 19. You know it now that you (maybe) pay your own rent/mortgage. So if you're so big on protesting, where have you been the rest of this year to spread awareness of your cause? Why are you not moving to a third-world, non-corporate country to support the less fortunate? Why are you not sewing your own clothes? Why are you buying pharmaceutical-brand toothpaste? Why are you still washing your hair??

Fact is, unless you never buy anything, (including clothing, groceries, shoes, bags, coffee, bottled water, dishrags, comforters; the list goes on) you're not protesting capitalism. You're starting shit because there are finally enough people to garner you some attention.

And if you're legitimately protesting peacefully, yeah it's weak and wimpy and whatever, but do you know anyone who takes PETA seriously? I mean, out of the people you would not shoot with eye-death-lasers on a regular day. I'd rather a peaceful protest, than one that is violent, potentially harmful to other people, and thus not taken seriously by anyone. When you act irrationally, people believe you to be irrational; no one wants to help out the irrational guy, in fact, usually, they want to either avoid him completely or knock his block off. So why would anyone want to change anything based on destructive behaviour?

Yes. There are a lot of things in our country that have to change. A billion dollars should NOT have been spent, under any circumstances, on the G20/G8 summits which have cost $30 million in their other locations. That is something to protest. Protest via bad press, protest via conversation with other intelligent people, protest by writing (and having concerned acquaintances, friends and family write) many, many letters. Protest intelligently, kids. Because breaking windows and setting cop cars on fire when there's really no reason for that really didn't illustrate any kind of point as the masses ran down the street in their brand name clothes and shoes afterward.

I certainly hope none of you own a car or cars.

Living in the epicenter of the most capitalist part of Canada might be your first problem. If you have issues, there are plenty of rural areas where you can grow and harvest your own corn, lettuce and chickens. Contribute to non-capitalist Canada and live off the fat of the land, Of Mice and Men, not the fat of OSAP, and certainly not the fat of welfare, which is paid for by all those crazy employees working for the Man.

That, would be amazing.

Won't you be my neighbour?

Of course, we have the blandest network in range.

Hopefully I live. But who knows!

I didn't get a tetanus shot and I still feel like my leg (the part that doesn't have the cut on it) has a giant bruise, and my arm too, and for the past hour all I can smell is copper. So if I hemorrhage and die in the next couple of hours, it's because I really wanted to move my bed to the other side of the room a couple days ago.

China's not the same as Chinatown

It's COLD. What is happening here! /mild freak-out

A fat, dirty, slimebucketly man stole a Toblerone chocolate bar tonight at my store when he thought no one was looking. But I was looking. I was looking as he lifted the back of his unwashed windbreaker jacket and shoved the prism-shaped carton into the ass-crack of his filthy jeans. This was a chocolate bar his debit had declined moments earlier. He then walked up when he felt the coast was clear, and actually paid for a second chocolate bar, half cash, half debit.

Turns out he gets all his prescriptions filled at our store. We have his name, his number, and his address if we ever want to break into his rained-on, moldy cardboard box and steal, like, a half-eaten worm from him or something.

PS, I'm sure this guy was not actually homeless; I just keep thinking of him as Christopher Lloyd's character in the '90s movie version of Dennis the Menace. Because he was a greasebag who is in his mid 40s, stealing chocolate bars.

Economic Peril

"Can I get $20 cashback?"
"Yep. Oh... sorry, we don't do cash advances" [as customer hands cashier her Visa]
"Oh.... well my daughter wants to go to Starbucks." [looks frustrated] [debit declines her extra $20]

Maybe it's time a few of us made some lifestyle changes. I mean, this recession thing's not exactly new anymore.

Worst.

Giving you more reason not to watch the 24 hour news channel.

Fuck PETA

A man was brutally murdered and decapitated in his sleep on a Greyhound bus on his way home to his family last week; this week, PETA has chosen to exploit the incident for their own preachy cause.

Listen. Animals slaughter each other in the wild. I wonder how many political rallies PETA has had in the African savanna opposing such instinctual behaviour. I have made the conscious choice to continue to eat meat. If I didn't, I would probably be dead because I don't have the patience to check every label to see if it has the essential amount of iron and protein that I can easily get from a steak. I respect anyone who has made the decision to not eat meat or consume/use/wear animal products, and I understand their reasons without them even having to explain them to me. I just really, really enjoy meat, and whether I choose to eat it or not, the same animals are going to be made into food for human and animal consumption. (Dogs and cats eat animal products too! Animals?? Go figure!) I don't torture animals for fun in my backyard, wear leather, or poach elephants for ivory. I'm not making anything go extinct by eating meat.

But when an organization uses the brutal murder and decapitation, even cannibalism, that happened to a real family somewhere, to support their outlandish vegan cause that no one takes seriously anymore, a bit of bile rises into my throat.

I am willing to bet that Tim McLean's family is not going to go vegan because some piece-of-shit organization decided to compare their son's absolutely disturbing, horrid murder to killing a bull that was bred originally to one day make some delicious steaks.

Fuck!

In lieu of this ridiculousness, I am going to encourage everyone I know who normally eats meat to eat FIVE steaks this week, TEN hamburgers, FIFTEEN porkchops, and a shitload of chicken. I apologize to my vegetarian friends in advance, but if I were vegetarian or vegan, I would be outraged that there was such a terrible organization known worldwide for its thoughtless tactics giving such an awful name to me and the people who chose the same lifestyle as me.

Hey PETA. Cows can't read the foul things you write, and they can't understand what nonsense you're trying to convey, but people can. And that man's family gets to read about your antics and feel even worse now. Well done.

All is again well in the jungle.

Mee-lo came back today! (!!!!!!!) He was apparently full of dirt (probably from napping in a rusty old tire for a few days) but I haven't heard anything else, so he's probably doing just fine.

Sometimes, things are funny. And sometimes, they are not.

Maybe I'm just getting really old, but when what you're mocking happens to be a giant part of someone's life (with the exception of Scientology or Mormonism, because I have to lend myself to hypocrisy in one way or another), it's time to fuck off.

I don't know. Maybe I'm just taking these 'jokes' too seriously, but I'd like to think that if one day I get engaged, or get a job across the planet, or am able to buy a brand new house, or have any kind of excitement looming ahead of me (as opposed to now, when I have sweet fuck-all to look forward to other than school ending for another 8 months), that people who have not experienced such things will be happy for me, not mock me to their pals. This nonsense hasn't happened to me yet, but if it does? POW! Watch out.

In other news, some immigrants catcalled me in their native tongue from a bus shelter Saturday night while I was walking home after work. While I'd normally ignore this kind of queerbaitery, instead, without looking back I loudly retorted "Grow up." Whether they understood me or not, they decided to shut up. Being an asshole of sorts is really working out for me lately, and it might also work for you. I highly recommend it.