Is that real ketchup? Yep!

I'm normally a summer person, but it's going to be mid-temp today and I actually don't mind it.  Yesterday I remembered how much I loved a hot coffee instead of just liked it as a morning routine, and today it actually motivated me to wake up before 8am on my first day of vacation.  Shit!  It's so good!

You ever type something and at the same time someone else says that same thing? I don't.

Why is there an actually 'cut'-looking version of the Koodo spokesguy on the dash in a Volvo commercial?  I need to stop watching television again.  Those days without the 'tube' (what do we call them now? 'Impossibly flat boxes'?) were both the most creative and the most depressing days of my life.

So, let's recap my summer:  La la la la la la la.

Summer was great, necessary, and full of new experiences involving spending far more money than I ever realized was involved in owning a finished house.  Apparently, yards are expensive to have.  Go figure.  And as usual, it turns out that I still prefer my time up north to my time filled with work down here in the deep south of Ontario.  Nothing is very surprising when you're an old person in your late twenties.

If I ever buy a burgundy velvet chandelier, kill me.

Sometimes, people's faces resemble peanuts with fish eyes slapped onto them.  There is nothing wrong with that.

So, on vacation we will go in a few days.  No blogging will occur during this time, as we have a land line, satellite TV but no internet there.  It's a regular old pioneer days up north!  And that's the way your mom likes it.

Remember the time Dalton McGuinty replied to my tweet about how he's a wiener?  Every time I see his commercials, I can't help but remember how much I hate every useless election in this country.  But we already blasted that topic in May, so I will move on.

Boobs.

Representin'.

I gave up on the 365, rather quickly it would seem. It was no good, and I felt like it was holding me back. Or obligating me. I'd rather just picturize when the mood strikes me, or when something cool presents itself.

Tomorrow, our little Mixi (who has recently taken to becoming a woman) goes in to get spayed. Good luck, cat! We'll see you on the outside. In the meantime, she and the other two have to fast for the night (or, we'll just feed the other two when she passes out). Rico is staring longingly at me; purring, wishing, hoping. Not any time soon, cat.

The Taurus, she is a-done-for. The other car passed the e-test (with flying colours, I might add. Suggestion: Put a new catalytic converter on your car if it's failing miserably [sometimes twice]; I'm almost willing to wager you'll see a significant difference).

Rico is now staring at me with devil-horned ears and wider-than-usual angry-owl eyes. So if I'm not cat-murdered in my sleep by him, I promise maybe I'll update more. There's not a lot of motivation for that since I started posting my pictures on ELITH, so maybe go there if you're bored. It'll give you a synopsis of what's new, and you can look at some pictures!

Oh yes, and Jay Leno sucks.

The Crazy Cat Lady

I'm reading all about introducing cats to each other today. Mixi and Jane pretty much hate each other, and Rico has never been a fan of other cats. So upon this upcoming merge, we may find ourselves in a pretty pickle. Oh, kitties. I need a farm.

Going to conduct a social experiment based on this site. I will be recording every transaction I witness. Good info here too.

This is good too, even though it's not about housing cats in any way. Watch about halfway through when Stephen Colbert cleans up Alicia Keys' "Empire State of Mind".

November!

All the leaves are almost gone. What the hell! Oh right, it's almost winter. Thinking of scrapping the blog. Turns out there's not much to say bloggy-style when you're the furthest from miserable that you've ever been. Imagine!

Here are some things I find funny today:

• Extended MSN names that explain how the person is feeling through lyrics, quotations, or a jumble of obscenities and punctuation marks
• Cats when they hide their legs under their bodies and put their head flat on the bed to sleep; they look like fuzzy caterpillars!
• This horrible guy's laughter on Jon Stewart

The COGwheel thing is back. Go check it out. Those boys are silly.

Busy busy bee

Things are hectic. Between working two jobs and setting up a business plan, I've failed a good friend: Danner. I barely update lately! So in apology, I give him this blog entry.

The Price is Right has the unrelenting power to make a person who works two jobs still feel horribly under-employed. Time to pick up a third job and second business plan.

Pearl says The Invention of Lying is a good movie. She told us most of the plot today, so I'm not sure a lot of it will surprise me, but since I love me the quirky Brit humour of Ricky Gervais, I'll probably see it.

I leave you today with this final thought: Why do so many people insist upon liking zombies?

Played.

Quebec, at least the part of it I've been to as of this weekend, is beautifully scenic. Not horribly scenic by any means.

I officially have a 'Hang in There' kitty on my wall in calendar form this month. This can only mean good things. Or at least that I'll try to maintain some sanity.

Rare is the day that I'm not out in the evening, and as such, I barely get to watch Jeopardy anymore. Miklos is hard, hard, hard at work, so I think tonight's my night. Trebek, you and me. Let's get it on... the TV, that is.

Had a nice healthy rant about life just now. Which is the reason I think I didn't actually die in my car encounter earlier today during the rain. I nearly hydroplaned out of control and my steering wheel started shaking like a bastard. No impact, thankfully, and probably, as I say, because I hadn't yet had a final wah-wah today.

PS, go see UP! It's amazing.

Summertime...

It's Gasoline Price Hike Season again, and I will never, ever understand why there are regulations on the sale of just about everything, except for gas, which gets to be whatever price the oil giants want it to be, even though it should really be about 20-25 cents less per litre than we're paying.

I made a surprisingly good Earl Grey tea just now.

Although I don't like the tone in which this article is written, you get the gist. Basically, Governor General Michaelle Jean ate a nibble of the heart of a freshly slaughtered seal in Nunavut. Yep. This'll do wonders for Canada's image.

I miss the old Governor General. (Featured in the video below from 2:10-2:30.)

There's a man waiting to take me to something that I'm 'for'

Karl has convinced me that Live At Massey Hall is worth picking up. How? "Champions of Nothing" live, on loop, for 30 minutes. (That's only the song's elapsed play three times over, by the way, so it's not that much.) Sure why not. Actually, it's going on the Christmas List. I've spent enough money in the past 5 days or so. I should've started making this list 6 days ago.

Don Rickles has made the Shit List as of tonight. That makes me sad because "Rickles" is such a cute name. Then again, he is mean. Meaner than most. Meaner than me, even! RICKLESSSS!!! Yeah. You're not going to get the reference but that's ok. I watch too much television. I flip mostly back and forth between 24 hour news and the Comedy Network when Colbert/Daily Show/Simpsons are on. That is my television-watching sched.

I'm maybe having something tasty to eat tomorrow.

And I'm not surprised.

Should've been in marketing instead...

Formula for a Rogers commercial:

1. One of the four characters, usually a guy, is intrigued by a new device or service that another of the four rich kids has picked up this month.
2. The guy or girl who owns the new Rogers device/service summarizes its innovative new features.
3. Guy/girl listening sounds impressed.
4. One of the two more popular guys (never the East Indian guy who may or may not have been on Renegade Press; usually the dorky white guy), does something goofy.
5. Better looking hipster (possibly-mixed) guy with curly hair uses quick wits to make endearing quip.
6. Rogers theme and logo are played.
7. [ Exeunt. ]

Willy-Nilly

I've been stupid for a long time. There's no denying that. For a long time I thought it was due to secondhand (and once, firsthand) inhalation of pot smoke. I thought it might have instilled in me whatever the young person's version of Alzheimers is, because my attention span became next to nil. And because a man of science insisted to me (many times over) that even smoking it once can cause the brain to function differently. Even today, just over two years later ... I am finding it hard to finish this sentence. Case and point.

But I'm beginning to realize that the problem began in Fall of 2005 when we moved into a (really shitty) apartment where Rogers cable was accidentally left connected from the previous tenants. Television ensued.

One of my favourite authors, Kurt Vonnegut, shunned television from the day it was introduced. And for probably most of my youth and up until I was 20, I found I had little interest in it. I was more interested in learning things. Nevertheless, I didn't truly grasp his criticism.

Fast forward to 24 hour access to BET, and Kanye West's breakthrough hit, "Gold Digger", and life took a 180. Suddenly, there was something to keep us occupied in our 200 sq. ft apartment. (That may actually be a very generous measurement.) And as a result, I do believe I'm stupider than I've ever been. I've also lost the mild talent for singing that I once had.

I don't even know the point of this entry. I just turned off the Colbert Report though. That alone should signify great change in my life. We'll see if my vocabulary and insight improves in the next few weeks.

You know who I feel sorry for in all of this? Joe.

I was first introduced to Renegade Press a few weekends ago when we ventured up to Gravenhurst to Andrew's friend's cottage, where the poor television reception is meant to deter you from staying indoors. (Its intentions failed, at least by night.) The only stations available were A Channel and Global, and A Channel was showing the Disney movie Robots, so that wasn't happening. From here, we were introduced to Zoe, a girl coming of age, with a heart of gold and eyes that always seem to be heavy with almost-tears.

I watched it again tonight and learned that Zoe's first time having sex was revenge in a garage with a ginger (Zoe, you're so relatable! Are you and I one and the same??), because she heard her crush Jack had sex with another girl; as it happened, he hadn't. Shot to the heart, Bon Jovi. Now that she has lost this important piece of her soul and begun her journey as a foxy young woman who is 15-ish and wears altogether too much makeup, I can't help but wonder how Zoe's heart will be shredded next week!

Spine-tingling Global TV for youngsters continues.

But, as I noted for a completely different reason to one of the Keys to the VIP-type vultures who swooped into chairs left empty by my boyfriend and two friends last night in a loud and mildly rowdy bar: Don't worry, I'm just an asshole. I'd be lying if I said I didn't watch something worse, Ready or Not, but at least that had camp value. This is just a load of bunk about kids 'exposing truths' about issues no one cares about on their piddly domain name website. (Elitists!)

I wanted to get a free burg from Harveys today but the lines were ridiculously long. The extent that some people will go to to avoid paying a couple of dollars for a single patty on a bun with a few vegetables and some sauce on top bewilders me. I'd rather have spent $20 on a lunch at Subway. And I did, I did.

I did.

BJ Novak for the win. Anybody with the name BJ, for that matter, deserves a lot of props. I can only imagine the childhood taunting. Unless for his handle he was hailed as a hero. In which case, you know what, you kids really disgust me. Shit.

I'm sorry to hear he was on Punk'd. That's unfortunate. But I really do like BJ Novak.

Strangers in the Night

Also, Criss Angel hanging from a helicopter by fishhooks in his back is really, really gross.

Trading Spaces just got more awkward. Instead of two sets of homeowners trading houses for two days and redecorating one room in each other's houses with $1000 budgets, there is now the element of heartbreak and broken memories. New marriage vs. former husband and his brother. I'm so glad nothing else is on at noon on a Sunday.

Are you paying for HDTV like a sucker? Apparently, this works. Just leave it to beer!

While Andrew makes his run to the Thai place to get himself something to eat (I have no interest in Thai as a first meal of the day; I'll settle for a warm bottle of Ensure, thank you very much), I thought I would list my most enjoyed television programs, in no order of relevance.

1. Antiques Roadshow
2. Survivor
3. Flip That House
4. American Idol (auditions only plz)

We're going to see butterflies today. I hope my camera battery doesn't die (as it often does since it made its fall into a bowl of water), because if it doesn't, I will again have pictures to show that aren't of cats!