Warning: Do Not Ignore Hundreds of Dead Birds

Fish die by botulism, birds eat infected fish; a likely story.  The timing is a little off-putting, though.  Why can't we just admit that the grief-stricken, poor economy-shaken birds committed mass suicide?  By the way, if you live on Georgian Bay and awaken to hundreds of dead birds in your yard, don't just start cleaning them up, contact your municipality first. Something might be up.

Unrelated, I urge you to play the internet's greatest version of the game Telephone, Doodle or Die, but also to draw/say something other than a penis or a Nazi when it comes up, as well as the same for any Homestuck references.  Those are just far too common on the site.

Mayor McCheese

I was likening Toronto Mayor Rob Ford to a talking cheeseburger yesterday when lo and behold I realized...

I mean, there are obvious differences, but you get the idea.

Dragonfly Cannibalism on the Dock

I'm just saying whoa dog.

Mistaking Satellites for Stars

I am very, very slowly recovering from the Thrush Hermit show last night at Lee's Palace. The best word to sum that experience up is WOW. They played every song I wanted to hear, and they blew the roof, the walls, the doors, and the pants right off that place.

On our failed attempt to get Green P parking behind the place, we saw the guys just hanging out beside their van. Got to love how down-to-earth they are.

We also stopped at Book City. I've never realized how much I missed that place until we went in last night. Miklos got me a travel guide to Budapest, and if I wasn't excited before, now that I've got pictures and ideas of a place filled with history and things I've never seen before floating all around my head, I cannot wait to get there.

You'll have to forgive me; I've never been anywhere.

Big news! Miklos and I are going to Hungary in April! This still really hasn't sunk in for me.

Except that tomorrow when I wake up, I'm positive I'll realize the reality of it.

I've never been on a big plane; I've never seen the ocean, let alone crossed it; I've never been in a total state of culture shock; I've never been in a country where I have so little a realistic idea of what to expect, except for what someone has told me. To summarize, it's ridiculously exciting, or it will be, once it hits me that (OMG) I'm actually going!

Actually I think that excitement is beginning to build, as I've just now begun to think of the endless new photo possibilities. (Speaking of those, go here.) And now, to prevent any further evidence of how much I look forward to spending part of spring in a totally new place, I'm going to go to bed. Enthusiastically!

**

New favourites:

• Lamebook
• The Oatmeal
• Yahoo Answer Fail

The Crazy Cat Lady

I'm reading all about introducing cats to each other today. Mixi and Jane pretty much hate each other, and Rico has never been a fan of other cats. So upon this upcoming merge, we may find ourselves in a pretty pickle. Oh, kitties. I need a farm.

Going to conduct a social experiment based on this site. I will be recording every transaction I witness. Good info here too.

This is good too, even though it's not about housing cats in any way. Watch about halfway through when Stephen Colbert cleans up Alicia Keys' "Empire State of Mind".

Gabbo. GABBO.

GABBO!

We went to the monkey/lion/three-legged jaguar place (no one cares about the parrots) yesterday. We saw no animals, but we did see a big forest with thin wire fencing around it and a bunch of signs basically telling us to go away. Amazing! Finally, this place is picking up a little.

Mixi woke me up to cuddle at 9 this morning. She's getting fatter by the day, but no less bitchy. I like her.

My diet lately consists of coffee and peanut butter cups.

It's so different out here

So we're back from up north. What a great place, where the only thing you're blowing a tonne of money on is gasoline. It's nice not to be surrounded by products and crazy people, but rather by trees and crazy people you enjoy spending time with. Adding pictures to Flickr periodically for the next day or two.

There is nothing like a nice hike to simultaneously clear your mind and fill it with wonder. What a good trip. Back to grumbling when I wake up. It's laundry day.

Sans-Labour Day

We went to the Marshville Festival for our day off. It was fun. All the useless crap people sell there makes me want to open a booth at a trade show. A booth comprised of anything! One place made really good wood carvings, and wasn't even selling any of them. Amazing. Creating things simply for the enjoyment of it, not for business... who does that anymore?

Speaking of working for nothing, the frantic job search continues tomorrow. Going to change the name on my resume to Gary Busey and see if that gets me further...

(You had to be there) AKA (For my own memory's sake)

• Hidden and periodically updated notes; I did a similar "Note to Self" type memo when I was 8; I found it when I was around 15 and laughed at how ghey I was.
  
• "It smells like a pencil..."
• "What kind of tree is that?" "A weed maple."
• "Hey, Larry David! Can you sign my arm?" *Randy signs arm 'RANDY', shrugs and walks away*

Better get to bed. Work in the morning again. Ugh. Life.

Better hurry...

What a bargain! When I was 17, my friends and I used to 'ghost-hunt'. It was a fun way to stay up late, scare the (figurative, in my case) crap out of ourselves, and the stories we ended up with would last each of us a lifetime. And those ghosthunts were all for FREE!

So just think what kind of shit you'll be able to tell those willing to listen to you for the price of two Canada's Wonderland tickets and an experience involving absolutely no roller coasters! WOW!

Here's a tip for all your ghost-hunter kids who don't want to pay $75. Bring two video cameras (because at least one will almost always certainly die) and one digital camera, making completely certain all batteries are fully charged before you leave the comfort of your unhaunted home. Get one of your rich sucker friends to purchase an EMF detector for extra giggles. Bring at least one unkempt Frenchman. At least one member of your crew must wear black at all times, and spout off highly unpopular ideologies. And don't go out until 1 or 2 in the morning for best results. Voila! A night to remember!

Back from Vacations

Photos:

• The Island
• Cottage 2009

It's friggin' late. I'll add some commentary later.

Funkalicious!

I have this tendency to laugh like hell when I'm in high-drama situations. And not a nervous giggly laugh. More like a haughty and amused laugh of adrenaline, accompanied by a large and overbearing smile which is probably scary and/or confusing to those around me.

Honestly, I'm sure I prefer it to the other options people face -- panic attacks, fainting, rage leading to violence, utopian bliss, nausea, heartburn, indigestion -- I'm just not quite sure where I came to develop this sort of reaction. Do you know anyone else who does this? I sure can't think of anyone who does it who isn't drinking.

And then there were 3... cats, I mean.

Miklos found a kitten in the woods (or rather, some old men found her but couldn't keep her). After suggesting what seemed like a dictionary of names for a tortoiseshell kitten with an exceptionally friendly and energetic personality for a cat who'd been left in the woods for at least a couple of days, we settled on Mix, or Mixie (for now).

We took her in for an examination Saturday morning after the market, where the veterinarian let us look through the microscope at the earmites she had accumulated. Cool! ...We then had him eradicate them.

So after some expensive treatment and a vaccination, this cat looks like she will be our new money pit pet. D'awwww! She's so wiry and friendly.

PS, we watched stuff blow up tonight, which should make up for how cute this post is. Except that the things blowing up were awesome fireworks over the canal. And I bought some thinning shears because your hair's getting too fluffy these days.

Real Estate... Agent Maaaan

Tonight:

• Investigated area of fire I noticed happening last night between Towpath Rd. and Highway 406
• While investigating, observing the hollow area that seemed to lie beyond the otherwise apparent forest and noting the overpowering smell of something burned, we almost took a nosedive off the side of the road and into a creek lying a good distance below the level of the road
• 30 minutes later, avoided near-collision with both a raccoon and a guardrail (kudos to Miklos's fancy footwork there; AAPEX Driving Academy served at least one of us well)
• Saw about a billion more kamikaze raccoons while driving (one, dead with its back freshly ripped out... ew, man; leave that shit alone, turkey buzzards), as well as some (live) kitties

So, an eventful night in all, but you might be able to see why we opted to drive around no longer.

Rebel L

Hey,

I'm supposed to get up at like... oh, I dunno, 9am and shower and proceed working on my macadamia academic assignment thing, but man. It's just not feeling like bedtime yet. Sure, my eyelids are like 10 pound weights (and in eyelid weight, that's like benching a small elephant), but I feel like there's just so much to catch up on. Like uploading some new photos for once, and linking you to Miklos.ca because we got to try out a 20mm lens his friend Bob graciously allowed him to borrow (all of those pictures are on Miki's site, none are on mine; sry!). So much fun.

I officially 'launched' this blog last week after 2 years, in accordance with the "Who Gives a F&#$ Anymore" law I recently passed with regards to who reads my writing. It was a struggle getting royal assent on that proposition, but once I read it over and gave it some good thought, I quickly decided the timing was right. What with the economy and the dollar sign in its name, et al.

The people would want this.

So guess what. I got a ukulele, as mentioned yesterday. What I did not say was that I decided to premiere it to one of my sisters while she was passed out in her bed, 'recovering' from the previous night's events (I imagine). I stood in the door, in a hunched-over-the-ukulele pose, strumming gently with a big smile plastered on. This went on for about a minute until she began to stir, opened her eyes in a daze, and then mumbled, "oh my god... I thought I was dreaming that." I gave a big grin, and she roared, "GET OUT!!!!!!" Obediently, I ran out of her room giggling.

It's my favourite thing I've done lately. You know, other than working every weekend.

So welcome, welcome all. I hope you like it.

I'm off to bed. Goodnighty.

I don't know, Ron. That sounds a little crazy.

Yeah so I should really take a couple days out of having fun per week to do assignments and homework. Life is not supposed to be this good, apparently, at least not while you're in school for less than one more month. (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) I've been at it for two days straight and I am still way, way behind.

...Ew. This guy on House is not pretty. Brazil nuts, eh?

So yeah, Twitter is the latest distraction for just about everyone. Texting the very latest thought from my head onto the double-you-double-you while I'm in the cafeteria/in class/on the bus?! Brilliant. No one cares, and it's so exciting! It's just like blogging, but littler!

Next week, post-Monday (which will be certain hell, as I will be writing a law test and presenting a topic for Training & Development), here's the plan: Research the shit out of Carpal Tunnel for my Health & Safety paper. Come up with some bullshit for my Disability Admin paper that will hopefully be passable. I'm really hoping it won't be a work-heavy week, which of course means that it will be one. Hate!

But it's all worth it in the end for that little piece of paper that I may or may not receive, which will probably not get me a job until the economy picks up.

At least I've broken the eye-rolling habit I'd developed for a while there. Onward to positive things that suit me.

Today was a nice taste of springtime in February. Temporary, yet so very right. I got to remember what it was like to wear a jacket instead of a coat. Amazing. I got to walk around on the snowless sidewalks wearing flats and no socks. The best!

I can't wait for this to be all the time again.

And if snow is so deadly, why does it only take a little warmth to zap it all away? You have to hate the irony of that.

I finished an assignment and got half my reading done today as well. I feel productive and I feel ready for 68 days from now when I can finally say "G'bye, school!"

Who am I kidding. I'll probably be back. But it's a nice feeling, to have something within reach to finally look forward to. That's the point of springtime.

Plans and Sleep

You ever look at a play-on-words so many times that the real word looks downright out of place the next time you see it? (Probably not.) Tonight, reading Vonnegut's introduction to Bagombo Snuff Box, I came across the word "comatose". Just looks weird to me now.

The drive-in is fun. It is one of few situations where a station wagon dominates a much sexier car. Any car you can lie down in the back of on a pile of blankets and pillows to watch three movies with the hatch left up (provided there is perfect weather, as there was last night) gets my vote. The drive-in does have its many limitations, but it is nearly always a very good time, except if you have to go to the bathroom.

Missed a day of fun today because the movies ran very late and I was tired and out of my head and remain so to this moment. Not tired enough to sleep, however, as I napped for a good length of time today.

Go read a book. There's nothing productive here.