Died of a Broken Heater

Lately I've been trying to refresh the place. It all started when my cannibal of an 'angelfish' died last week. Fuckin' right! Normally I wouldn't be so callous, nor so satisfied, when a 'pet' died, but let's face it: This thing killed and ate all the other fish he's lived with for 2 years. On several occasions (1) (2), I have only found parts of fish in my aquarium. So anyway, after eating Blinky just after I got home from the cottage, the angelfish decided to keel over. ("Must've choked on a bone," said Miki.)

I was amazed. I thought that bastard would never die. All his long (for a tropical fish) life, I never thought I'd see the day when he died. And then there he was... wedged under a plastic seaweed plant, done.

Promptly, he was flushed, and the aquarium at long last removed from my room. Today I was able to move stuff around in my room (not without an adventure) and ended up with a long crooked gash on my calf from my bedframe which [Ed. Note: Surprise!!!] was apparently broken off in one part I walked by. Anyway, it barely hurt, which is new for me, and it looks really gross and swollen and bloody and cool! And now my room's all changed around so I get to be totally confused when I wake up in the morning. All-right! Anyway my point is the change is refreshing. Etc. And scars-to-be are cool.

There's a meteor shower out there tonight, but as clear as the sky is in the city tonight, I can't see a thing. If I could though, this would be helpful.

Minutiae

A long time ago, when I was much angrier or at least cared more, some idiot commented on my blog in all his pretentiousness and [in all likelihood only] criticized me for writing about the 'minutiae of my life' [because it made him feel all warm and special inside to say a word containing more than three vowels in it]. He made his statement that no one cared but me.

And you know, that's true. It is. No one does care about this stuff, except me, and maybe the people I write about, and maybe a few more people if I throw in a good pop culture WHAMMO! every now and then. I never denied any of that. Just felt a bit angry and annoyed with the part about some moron feeling himself important and above it all enough to make such a statement in a world that's booming with blogs of every kind.

Now that I really stop to think, though, there's so much more to it than the absurdity of that statement. 'The minutiae of our lives' is what our lives are comprised of. When I think of the things that Ellie and I did, sure, some of them slightly impacted others, in the way any other day-to-day transaction did. We never did anything to conquer the fucking universe, but had a lot of fun, a tonne of laughs (if they could be weighed), and a million little experiences we enjoyed but never thought would amount to anything.

But they do. Everything adds up to this one giant bag of shit we call life. And I happen to enjoy that bag of shit, whether it's rainbow coloured or brown. Whether I put an end to the credit crunch, or I end up paying off my debt one day and meeting a lot of great (or even useless) people in the process, that's what's happened in my life. You sold a painting to an adult contemporary washup who will be comprised of the same thing as me when each of us dies. The only difference is soil or ash. And that's not something that's based on whether I wrote "Candle in the Wind" or not.

And whether you want to believe it, you'll end up the same way too. It doesn't really matter what we do in life, minutiae or selling poor quality artwork to celebrities, because when we're gone, it's done. The world keeps turning.

Pearl said this to me today:
Life is like a game of chess, at the end of the game the king and pawn go in the same box.

That's right kids. Three disappointing, money-wasting years at Niagara fucking College are coming to close, and I'm beginning to gain back my train of thought again. This can't be good for the economy.

I have to stop torturing myself. I realize that. The more I read this, the more it seems like foreshadowing. I miss her so much. She'll be with all of us, always, but if there's ever such a thing as time travel, I'm going back to last week to call her up so that none of this ever happened.

Because You Care
Written by Ellie, Monday January 26, 2009 @ 12:00am

1. The more urgent or important a letter looks, the more I don't open it.

2. I'm white

3. I resent Brand Power Lady because my boyfriend has a crush on her.

4. I am going to look at a Jeep. Soon

5. Refuse to buy triscuits as they once endorsed Rachel Ray. You are next, Dunkin.

6. I wish that Alex would visit me.

7." When she goes to sleep, diabetes is there. When she goes to school, it's there. And when she plays soccer, its really there. Except on the 4th of July when it goes out to a party."

8. I don't like my wings saucy

9. Hi, I'm Ellie

10. I have a shirt that says "I love NikkiP" and I wear it every day under my clothes.

11. I have a big trunk full of goodies

12. If you ever buy me lilies I will likely throw you into the canal (roses or nothing)

13. I'm romantic. Violent and romantic.

14. Wuthering Heights makes me cry

15. I gaged how much I was growing up by the intervals of time that elapsed between the times I fell over.

16. I can recite Arrested Development scripts

17. I am not looking forward to this week at all.

18. Sometimes I wake up in the morning just to see Monica, Rhonda, Karen and Jess at school and get tea with them.

19. I MISS ADAM.

20. In 3 months time I might not live in Ontario

21. I hate pickles!!!

22. I have various no-touch zones that are not to be touched.

23. I give things obvious names.

24. I was born to be bad. No, actually I'm timid. Like a little koala bear.

25. For the most part I agree with everything on the list of 100 most irritating things in Britain. James Blunt is #4.

I had to post this here. I'll stop being depressed and depressing soon, I promise. I just can't believe the difference a few hours can make, or even a few seconds. And I would never have believed that things in life could be so painful. There are so many things that happened today alone that I would've been texting her about because she was the one who'd get the biggest kick out of it.

Happy Autumn!

Hello waste of time and taxpayers' money minority-government from yesterday back again today, hello!

Today I was wondering where this jerk, who always bought a lot of lottery and was always a dick to everyone he talked to at my store, had been lately. Well, it turns out, sometimes bad people die. Disorienting though, since he didn't seem unhealthy, just rude and mean-spirited and self-absorbed and in love with spending money on the hope that he might one day actually win money. (To buy friends?) Yeah. So he's dead. May he rest in peace, I guess?

I'm really happy with having bangs and having finished my Industrial Relations class. It's going to be nice to be able to read things I actually would like to for the next couple of months. In other news, I'm pretty sure my car is falling apart. I might like to get another job soon. So much for the reading plans.

All the leaves are brightly-coloured! Go out and take pictures before it snows!

This just in:

One of my fish who I noticed was missing all day has turned up dead. Well, half of him has, but I haven't got much hope for the rest of him. So far, a string of a fish body has surfaced from beneath one of the plastic aquarium plants. The rest of his body and his head are yet to be found. Considering the other fish are only slightly larger than he was, and that they're not really aggressive, and that they've lived with him for months prior to this devastating incident, homicide has been ruled out. There was a recent water change and tank cleaning (no abrasive cleaning products were used, only warm water), and the water seemed slightly warmer than usual when I checked on it earlier (i.e., before the corpse was exhumed). From this given evidence, I can only conclude that the water became too hot for the fish and he, in turn, exploded. Then, his head fell off the face of the earth, because I haven't been able to find it anywhere. Then, he had the other fish (who somehow remained alive and healthy) bury him under a plant according to his unwritten fish will, because that's where I finally found him. Under a fucking plant and a bunch of gravel.

This shit is bananas.