Do you live in a house full of unfinished business? Find an old roll of film around your house. It doesn't matter who took it (if it's someone else's, it might be all the more interesting). Get it developed. Be awed for a few minutes as you look over what's before you.
While cleaning up around the place this afternoon, "Generation X-Wing" stuck itself in my head. It was enough for me to actually muster up the courage to scour my (very) dusty CD collection and dig up Matthew Good Band's Raygun. After that, it became a kind of marathon of tunes I hadn't heard for a while. Ahh, memories (of drives by myself). It was nice.
There's this weird feeling in my stomach today. 22 years ago this day, my good friend Ellie was born. She became one of the most sensible yet most adorably fun people I have ever been lucky enough to meet. I was always in awe of her positive outlook on everything. Even when we didn't agree, which was rare, I always understood where she was coming from. She had about a billion friends because she was such an easy person to get to know and love. I can't think of a moment we wasted not living the hell out of our friendship, and that part makes me happy.
Okay that's the last carp title for the day, for a little while. Or until tomorrow.
The Local Rabbits will always be a good springtime band for me. Spring of 2006 in Toronto, Spring of 2009 in St. Catharines.
There were some college years in between but we'll just repress all those memories, excluding of course the influential people I met during that time. A few surprisingly great teachers, a few cool people, a few good friends, one of whom I knew only for just over a year but who touched my life in a lot of ways with our common ground, some silly situations, and our fail-proof intriguing conversations.
Sometimes I think of my times with Ellie and imagine what they would've been like if she weren't there. I'd certainly have looked silly setting up a tripod in the Brock courtyard at midnight, light-painting a long-exposure with my little flashlight, doing somersaults on the goose-poop-covered ground just to see what the light in the photos would turn out like. I'm sure it looked silly then too, but when paired with maniacal girl-laughter and some shots of her spinning around with a flashlight in her hand, it was called 'fun'.
Or the time when she asked a server at the Merchant Ale House for a glass of water with seven lemon wedges in it. I will always remember seeing her from across the loud, bastardized-local rock 'n roll-filled room, mouthing only the word "lemons" at the server. I sat smiling to myself that she actually went and asked for it as a result of our conversation about how great lemons were, thinking about what adorable idiots we were. Always discussing smart things, then topping them off with lemon- or Spoon-appreciation.
Anyway, all I'm thinking is: School is over, and Ellie would've been feeling just as relieved as I am this day (probably more so).
And though Ellie left me with a paranoia about all the things I love in my life could be gone in about 17 seconds, she also left me remembering to appreciate everything and bother to make the effort, because there'll always be a few minutes a day available for fun to make up for all that.
Good things right now:
Why do I not like sleep at night, but I love it so come morning? I'm tired as all shit, but I just won't go down. Why don't I think this much during the daytime? It certainly would help a lot of things.
This is a good'un (I didn't pay attention to the video, I'll be honest). It was track #11 on 'Economics is a Drag' Mix '08 as compiled by Ellie. That girl was fun.
Because You Care
Written by Ellie, Monday January 26, 2009 @ 12:00am
1. The more urgent or important a letter looks, the more I don't open it.
2. I'm white
3. I resent Brand Power Lady because my boyfriend has a crush on her.
4. I am going to look at a Jeep. Soon
5. Refuse to buy triscuits as they once endorsed Rachel Ray. You are next, Dunkin.
6. I wish that Alex would visit me.
7." When she goes to sleep, diabetes is there. When she goes to school, it's there. And when she plays soccer, its really there. Except on the 4th of July when it goes out to a party."
8. I don't like my wings saucy
9. Hi, I'm Ellie
10. I have a shirt that says "I love NikkiP" and I wear it every day under my clothes.
11. I have a big trunk full of goodies
12. If you ever buy me lilies I will likely throw you into the canal (roses or nothing)
13. I'm romantic. Violent and romantic.
14. Wuthering Heights makes me cry
15. I gaged how much I was growing up by the intervals of time that elapsed between the times I fell over.
16. I can recite Arrested Development scripts
17. I am not looking forward to this week at all.
18. Sometimes I wake up in the morning just to see Monica, Rhonda, Karen and Jess at school and get tea with them.
19. I MISS ADAM.
20. In 3 months time I might not live in Ontario
21. I hate pickles!!!
22. I have various no-touch zones that are not to be touched.
23. I give things obvious names.
24. I was born to be bad. No, actually I'm timid. Like a little koala bear.
25. For the most part I agree with everything on the list of 100 most irritating things in Britain. James Blunt is #4.
Thank you everyone for your incredible support through phone calls, MSN messages, and Facebook. Whether I've had the strength to reply directly or not, I cannot tell you how much I appreciate it. Without you guys, I don't think I could have made it through the day. It's not very often I have to be human, thankfully, and I'm trying to cope the best I can.
You guys are great.
Ellie, may you rest in peace. There's not a word in the world that describes you better than "wonderful". I'd write on and on about how unfair this is, because it really is... but I can't write anything else today.
Posts
All Comments
