You know who I feel sorry for in all of this? Joe.

I was first introduced to Renegade Press a few weekends ago when we ventured up to Gravenhurst to Andrew's friend's cottage, where the poor television reception is meant to deter you from staying indoors. (Its intentions failed, at least by night.) The only stations available were A Channel and Global, and A Channel was showing the Disney movie Robots, so that wasn't happening. From here, we were introduced to Zoe, a girl coming of age, with a heart of gold and eyes that always seem to be heavy with almost-tears.

I watched it again tonight and learned that Zoe's first time having sex was revenge in a garage with a ginger (Zoe, you're so relatable! Are you and I one and the same??), because she heard her crush Jack had sex with another girl; as it happened, he hadn't. Shot to the heart, Bon Jovi. Now that she has lost this important piece of her soul and begun her journey as a foxy young woman who is 15-ish and wears altogether too much makeup, I can't help but wonder how Zoe's heart will be shredded next week!

Spine-tingling Global TV for youngsters continues.

But, as I noted for a completely different reason to one of the Keys to the VIP-type vultures who swooped into chairs left empty by my boyfriend and two friends last night in a loud and mildly rowdy bar: Don't worry, I'm just an asshole. I'd be lying if I said I didn't watch something worse, Ready or Not, but at least that had camp value. This is just a load of bunk about kids 'exposing truths' about issues no one cares about on their piddly domain name website. (Elitists!)

I wanted to get a free burg from Harveys today but the lines were ridiculously long. The extent that some people will go to to avoid paying a couple of dollars for a single patty on a bun with a few vegetables and some sauce on top bewilders me. I'd rather have spent $20 on a lunch at Subway. And I did, I did.

I did.